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Showing Up and Trusting God in Your Financial Discomfort

A lady in financial discomfort |

Can I be real with you? As soon as Kubi announced the Kingdom Economics series I was uncomfortable, not because of Kubi or Tricia’s teaching, but due to my own financial choices and circumstances. I wrestled with whether I should show up for the teaching. I took my concerns before the Lord, and he told me to just show up. 

That made me smile because I teach Health and Wellness courses and my introductory request at the beginning of each course is to just show up! The Father told me the very same thing. 

As I listened each week, my lack of financial discipline made me feel uncomfortable, I honestly felt like hiding off camera, or leaving the meeting altogether. But as I listened in Week 1 to how God gave Solomon wisdom, the insight to gain wealth and the ability to manage his resources effectively and prosperously, I knew I was in the right place. 

Have you ever felt that God is speaking to you through a message but you’re just not ready to hear it? Well, that was me, and so my discomfort persisted. The truth is, I don’t enjoy conversations about money, especially when my money is a little funny!

On Week 2 in the Kingdom Economics series, Kubi touched on the topic of tithing and man I felt even more uncomfortable. Can I be honest? I can’t remember the last time that I tithed 10%, and I really didn’t want to think about it. Since the breakdown of my marriage 6 months ago, money has been tighter than it has even been, so tithing was the last thing on my mind. But as the meeting progressed, I felt the Lord instructing me to honour him by putting him first with what I had, trusting that he would multiply it, just as he did for Abel in Genesis 4:4. Kubi spoke on obedience as a demonstration of his lordship over all aspect of our lives and I got it! 

Now even though I got it, I still wasn’t comfortable talking about my money concerns. I know that God provides and that He always shows up for me, however my challenge was a lack of financial literacy and that became evident as Tricia explained how to allocate the other 90% of my income. Woah! I wasn’t ready for that truth!

By week 3 I was experiencing mixed emotions. I knew the Lord had some more gems that would be revealed to me but could I handle hearing them? Would my face give me away? Or could I muster up a poker face to hide my discomfort? Thankfully, Tricia taught about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a familiar topic from my undergrad days studying Business. I immediately relaxed into the meeting feeling comfortable with the familiarity.

I missed week 4 as I was attending my grandfather’s funeral in Jamaica and returned for week 5 in the Kingdom Economics series. Now let me tell you, week 5 was the most challenging of them all! I wanted to run, turn off my camera and log out of the meeting. When Tricia shared that she and her husband drew up a wealth contract detailing where they where financially and their future financial plans, I immediately felt ashamed with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had tried to initiate something similar with my ex-husband, but we were unable to get on the same page in terms of financial obligations and priorities. I listened intently writing notes, feeling inspired and impressed that they could be so responsible. 

"Father, I need to learn that level of responsibility", I prayed silently. Then Kubi asked us all to write a MOU - Memo of Understanding, and I DID NOT WANT TO! I sat for a minute staring at my notepad. I honestly didn’t know where to start. 

Candice spoke and reminded us to be specific with God and I knew what I needed to do! 

I took it to the Lord in prayer, shared how I was feeling with the PR team, and now I am sharing with you. Sometimes life is life-ing, and we want to retreat from situations that challenge us but scriptures such as Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10, Romans 8:28 and James 1:2-4, emphasise that God provides strength, courage and his presence to face any uncomfortable situations. His word tells us to show up and persevere, trusting in his support and the ultimate good that can come from enduring trials. We may not have the financial wisdom or the resources, but we serve a God that does, and if we put our faith and trust in him, we will win!


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