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What do you really see?

I love coaching, not just because of the life changing results it creates, but because you never know exactly what the coachee will discover as a result. It's those aha moments that you can never predict that make it so transformational. Not only that, but you also learn about yourself in the process.

Why am I mentioning this? Well, I had a session last week where this happened, which is still resonating with me, so I felt compelled to capture my thoughts and share them with you.

Kubi's session started as normal, talking about what had been happening in the last week and identifying what she wanted to focus on in the session. We identified three different pillars: Work, Prayer Room and Personal Life. As we explored each of these, a common thread emerged.... I love a common thread, it's the thing that ties seemingly spurious topics together, exposing the 'root cause' the true issue, not the surface level issues, that pretend they are the real deal!

It came like a flash, when Kubi suddenly exclaimed

'' I know why I have been eating all those Maltesers that I don't's because I'm not comfortable about aging and how my body is changing. That's what I want to work on''

We explored this topic and it got me thinking, where are the role models of women at different ages? The last time I looked online or at a billboard, I would say the average age is about mid 20s. Admittedly there are a few grey haired ladies dotted here and there, but they look flawless and you rarely see their bodies.

So, I invite you to:

Consider and reflect on:

·       How do you feel about yourself right now, wherever you are in your life?

·       Where are these judgements coming from?

·       Who is telling you what you should be?

·       Are the sources of these definitions unbiased, healthy, helpful and in service of you or someone else?

Embrace self-care and love.

Take a moment to consider what would happen if you swapped

''If Only'' to ''What If?''


This technique works for any negative thoughts you may have about yourself. As I turned 50 this year, there is no escaping the fact I am ageing, however I don't have to be a victim of this, so this is my example:


If Only:

If only I was younger

if only I had less wrinkles

If only my hair wasn't grey


What if?

What if I celebrate and embrace myself, for all I am here and now?

What if I take the pressure, I am putting on myself, and put that energy into something constructive?

What if I go out and complement the amazing women around me rather than comparing myself to them.


Which space would you rather be in? We all have a choice about how we experience the world and our place in it, so you can decide.

I know what Kubi is choosing, which is to step into the spotlight, exactly as she is today, to sharpen her tools and set her mission courageously and I know for sure that she is going to get to where she needs to be, simply by being, embracing and loving her true self.


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